11.24.2014

A Final Goodbye

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Saying a final goodbye is hard. I’m never going to be good at it. I’m never going to truly understand it. I’m not sure how I will ever be able to teach Olive, when I do not understand myself. 

We had to say goodbye to someone this weekend. Someone who has been there for me every step of the way. Someone who has loved me unconditionally from the day he entered our family. Someone who was always ready to play hard, or cuddle quietly. Someone who would run and cover you in kisses when we arrived home. He kept our family so light hearted, so cheery, so full of love.

He didn’t have to say anything for me to know that we meant the world to him. Looking into his big brown eyes, I just knew. They were always so full of heart. I have moved away from him many times in my life — for school and when I married — but we always picked up where we left off when I returned. He remembered everything. He remembered I loved to cuddle at night. He remembered I loved walking through the woods with him. He remembered I loved his kisses.

He loved Olive just as much. He welcomed her into our family during our first visit home from the hospital. My heartstrings are torn. Over the last 2 years I feel that my attention has been more on Olive, and not him. I truly didn’t mean for that to happen. He always understood, but I can’t help by feel that I lost these last precious years together. He meant the world to me and I pray that he knew that. 

I was hoping that it would happen naturally, that we would never have to make the decision to say a final goodbye. I was hoping that he would drift away in his sleep. 

Peacefully.

But time has continued on, and his old bones couldn’t carry him like they used to. He was picture perfect on the outside, still full of pep when he needed it, and always full of warmth and love. It was what we couldn’t see. His daily internal pain that he covered up so gracefully. He was the picture of courage and determination. 

He was more than just a Dog. He was someone I could always rely on when I needed to feel like the only one in the room, when I needed to feel loved, when I needed to feel brave, when I needed support to keep going. I told him all my secrets. He helped me make many important life decisions. He was my companion, my sidekick, my best friend.

We are going to miss you K9. You made the last 16 years of my life so special. A world without you is unthinkable.

Saying Goodbye

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9 responses to “A Final Goodbye”

  1. Amy says:

    Oh Stacy! Losing a pet who are members of your family is a difficult thing. May the happy memories keep you strong and at peace. K9 will ALWAYS be part of your lives. Rainbow Bridge just got another great one!!

    Love you!

  2. Oh no…. so, so sorry to hear this :'( saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do for a special friend like that. Sending lots of love and prayers <3 <3

  3. arvee says:

    So happy to stumble upon your site today but sad to hear about your loss – having fur kids of my own that way I could relate – stay strong!

  4. Julia COE says:

    thank you for the beautiful story, our children become so attached to our pets , death is very hard to explain

  5. Monika says:

    Oh they are amazing companions and it is such a loss when they go. I had a special friend like yours growing up and now we have a lovely old dog, who is just hanging on. I dread the day he will go.
    Hugs to you.

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