This month has been full of things that made me stop and think “I’ve got to remember this moment!” It’s not so much about “firsts” anymore, but the short reels of memories played back in my mind from each day that you see something new, the fun experiences we have together, and how I can see you knowing the world more and more each day. The time we spend together is what relaxes me, and whenever I’m at work or at the rink or laying in bed at night listening to you mutter in your sleep across the hall, remembering your face as I close my eyes takes me to the most beautiful place I can be.
I spent two full weekends in a row away from you and Daddy. The first weekend I was in Mississauga for a Synchronized Skating Competition, and the next I was in Fredericton visiting Momma’s friend Amy. I felt so bad to leave you both times, but I knew you and Dada would have so much fun. I love that your Daddy isn’t afraid to take you places or to try new things. You went for so many snowmobile rides and ice fishing adventures. Dada was sending me pictures and videos, and I couldn’t help but laugh. You spent some time with Grandma and Grandpa Blair (and of course Kara – you are crazy about Kara!)… skating on the lake in front of their house. I don’t think you missed me one bit. Daddy kept you busy and you loved every moment. You two make me so proud. I am so happy that you both enjoy doing so much together. You are crazy about your Daddy.
Every time the phone rings you run around the house yelling “Hello Popa”! It is the cutest thing! You love talking to your Popa on the phone (most of the time), and you often ask to call him. You don’t say very much. The conversation usually goes like this “HELLO! Hi. POPPPPPA!!!! Nooooooooooooo. Bye Bye!” He watched you by himself for a few hours while I got my hair cut a few weeks ago. When I came home I found you curled up on his lap, playing with his iPad and eating M&Ms. I don’t think words can describe how much I love seeing you cuddled up with my Daddy. You think the world of him, just like I do. This past weekend Popa and Granny came for a quick visit. You love taking people into the living room and making them food at your kitchen. Popa said he that wanted some pizza. You said “pee-za” and went straight to the kitchen. Granny then piped up and said that she wanted some too. You quickly put the toppings on the pizza, cut a piece, placed it on a plate and gave it to Granny. When Popa said “Hey, where’s mine?” you looked at him, put your hands up in the air and said “ALL GONE!” (even though there were 5 more pieces sitting on your oven!) We had such a big laugh! It was the funniest thing!
We’re still working on potty training (of course). It’s really fun to tackle this with you as a parent because it’s the first kind of “responsibility” that you’ve ever had for yourself. You get to decide if you’re going to use the potty, and sometimes you don’t want to. A few weeks ago, you were running naked around the house (normal and awesome) and you suddenly ran out of the living room and said “UH OH, Momma”. You’ve had a few oopsies on the floor. I think we need to start getting a little more serious about the potty thing.
You love to name and organize things. When we’re in a group, you point around the room and say everybody’s name, including stuffed animals. You like to stack things and organize things by size. We have started working on your colours. Your favourite is yellow (or “lellow”). You will repeat the colours after me, but when I ask you to decide which colour the picture is, it is always yellow! You are such a good cleaner, too. I only have to ask you once to put away your toys. You run over to the bins and start filling them to the top!
What else is new?
Most nights, you talk in your sleep… Not clear words… Just mumbles. I think all parents would agree that one of the most magical and enchanting things is watching their children sleep and wondering what they are dreaming. I watch a smile slowly spread on your face, feel you sigh deeply, your eyes open groggily and you say “Hi Momma” before drifting back to sleep.
Olive, it’s so important to have courage. I will tell you this all the time as you grow up. You have to be brave. And you have to have the strength to admit what you know you have seen, what your experiences truly are, and how you feel about it. Sometimes when you admit those things to yourself, it can bring you to a low place, which is what makes us want to hide the truth. That’s why it takes so much courage to accept nothing less than what you are worth, and to give nothing less than courtesy to others. Have the courage to decide who you are instead of allowing others to tell you who they want you to be. I hope you are always guided by what you know deep down is the truth, what you know is the right thing to do, because when you have the courage to stand up for yourself, you’re also standing up for millions of others who couldn’t. Never be afraid of who you are or how you see yourself. You will always be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
You are perfect.